I'm getting close to the end of my stay here and I'm facing some difficult decisions about how far I should push my recovery compared to accepting and adapting to my disabilities.
Most people who enter hospital do 'recover' from their injuries or illness. But in my case, and others who are here, the possibility of complete recovery is remote or non-existant. I will certainly be unable to walk for the rest of my life, so I will have major continuing disabilities.
Yet all around me people are telling me that I have done an amazing job of 'recovery', but I feel like I'm up against the limits. The staff here set goals that I should reach before going home, but because of my complete paralysis below the waist, it's been impossible for me to reach some goals. Everyone else I see here only has partial paralysis. If you can just stand up and walk a few steps it makes an enormous difference.
So I face a mixed bag of recovery and continuing disability. The question is, how hard do I push myself further, or can I accept things as they are (which an incredible step from lying unconcious in bed!). There is also the probability that I will continue to improve over the coming months.
So that's where I am at the moment. Beautiful day here too, the cold temps have retreated for the time being.